You often have hallucinations or sudden memories you can’t escape. [x] You can be confused about reality and fantasy. [x] You think people are always staring or talking about you.  You have extreme anxiety or fearfulness. [x] You have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite/same.  You do not take care of your hygiene as much as others say you should. [x] You are very shy.  You often talk to yourself.
[x] You hate your body. [x] You have starved yourself. [x] You have low self esteem. [ ] You use laxatives. (natural/pills) [ ] You need to be skinnier. [ ] People always say you’re skinny, but you think fat. [ ] People think say you are way too skinny. [ ] You skip at least one meal a day. [ ] You limit your calories or check them constantly by compulsion.
[x] You can act wild at times then the next you are severely depressed. [x] You are very irritable. [x] You barely get any or no sleep. [x] You have very high self esteem at times. [ ] You have used or abused alcohol, drugs, or sex. [x] You have thought of/attempted suicide  You have the worst mood swings of anyone you know.
[ ] You’ve thrown up all your food at one time [ ] You thrown it up even when you don’t feel sick. [ ] You have little control over how you eat.  You use laxatives.  You eat fast.  You have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out. [ ] You always say think you are fat. [ ] People think say you are way too skinny.
[x] You are always, or normally, feel sad.  You always, or normally, at some point during the day are crying. [x] You find no hope in your future. [x] You find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love. [x] You always find yourself around the house or in bed all day. [ ] You are anti-social. [x] You have low self esteem. [x] Everything bad that happens is always your fault.  Hope is no longer there for you.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
[x] You have disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate. [ ] You have to do a certain thing until it feels right.  You have to keep things in a certain order. [x] You have harmed yourself.  You are afraid you will get an STD, or AIDS. [x] You have to check some stuff over again many times.
“I have a message to those who attacked us. A message from the whole of Norway. You won’t destroy us. You won’t destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. And when tomorrow comes, let’s show the world that the Norwegian democracy still stands strong. The most important thing tonight is to take care of each other.”—Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg (via noor-3eini)
Yesterday, as a lot of people might know, a bomb went off in one of the central areas of Oslo. Not long after, a shooting incident took place on Utøya, an island that is owned by the Worker’s Youth League and is resident to their summer camp. The death toll in Oslo is seven; at the camp it’s ninety-two. Many more were injured, some are still missing. The people at that camp were between 12-24. Tweens, teenagers and young adults.
Seriously, that cowardly fuck. Kids, for fuck’s sake. He started his own small farming company, and used the fertiliser he got from his suppliers to make the bomb. He bought a police uniform, dressed up in it, went to the island and used the trust of the children there, asking them to gather around him before he opened fire. He comes from the ‘good’ side of Oslo and is apparently a Christian. He used that privilege in his favour. He has had political ties to neo-fascism and the far-right in the past. He was deliberate and methodical in what he did. There was very little the police could have actually done, unless they suddenly developed the ability to read minds.
I live about an hour away from Oslo. I have friends there. The island is in Buskerud county, the same county I live in. I can say, hand on heart, that this is the most tragic thing to hit Norway since the country was invaded and occupied by Nazi forces in WWII. I’ve seen so many flags flown at half-mast today and not a single smiling face. Everyone in my family has been crying.
Several things have bugged me in the past twenty-four hours. One is that a lot of the international news has said that Norway is naive, and you know, maybe that’s true. But what I don’t like is the subtle undertones of victim blaming. I read one article on the BBC that used very feminising language. Norway was ‘naive’ and had now been violated. And, although it wasn’t being overtly said, what was being implied was what we need to do is become more like the U.S. and UK.
Just because we don’t give into fear-mongering, and because our politicians really want transparency and want to be there among the people, doesn’t mean we deserve to have our children killed. We are not some tutt-tutting, finger wagging tale to be told.
The second thing that made me angry was the jump in conclusion that it was al-Qaeda by the international news. The Sun and Fox news have been very bad about this in particular (don’t they have the phones of murdered Norwegian kids to hack or something? Seriously, fuck them and their noise). To be fair, I think everyone thought it (I’ll admit I did). The problem was that they kept running with it. After the Norwegian media announced the shooter was a tall, blond, white Norwegian. Even the BBC keep mentioning “What everyone thought was an attack by al-Qaeda wasn’t.” That’s right, it fucking wasn’t. Focus on the fucking issue at hand, not the boogeyman in your head!
It is so disrespectful to use the deaths of ninety-nine people, and the injuries of many more, to try and further an agenda and incite hatred against Muslims. Right now ‘Together Against Terror’ has received an outpouring of support ever since the attacks, and it is run by a Norwegian Muslim. I’ve seen pictures of POC Norwegians cradling their injured white neighbours in doorways, trying to keep them safe and stop the bleeding.
If anything, I hope this helps people to realise that extremism is wrong, no matter what the colour of the person’s skin. And that a threat can just as easily arise from supposedly good, upstanding white people in a predominantly white country.
Recently I have gone through the stages of being suicidal, then becoming depressed and then finally settling into a temporary state of content apathy. But unfortunately it seems that whenever I start to piece myself back togeather the universe decides that if I get to have contentful apathy then in all my friends must be plagued with crushing sadness and consuming hatred. Now I know it sounds narcissistic and self centered byt it seems whenever I get better the universe balances it out by destroying my friends from the inside. So as per my usual course of action I shall devote as much effort as possible to bring smiles back to their faces even if it costs me my own. But in the end as long as we work hard for our goal surely we can find a peaceful balance that benefits everyone
I hate being alone. Maybe it’s narcissistic of me, I’m not sure, but I feel like I am the only person in the world that actually exists. Actually it happens even when people are around. It’s a rather horrible feeling. Extremely lonely. Empty. It’s hard to care about anything when nothing exists. One of my biggest fears: that the people I love are figments of my imagination, and will one day cease to exist. And I’ll be left abandoned. Again.
From this day on if someone angers me I will let them know, if they hurt me I will hurt them, if they do or say something I disagree with I will call them out on it. Why the change from quiet and complacent to this? well that is easy. Everytime I have an issue with someone or some kind of problem appears I have always stayed quiet and repressed it in order to spare their feelings but everytime that happens it builds up under the surface and explodes in an uncontrollable and unpleasant way. But never again shall that happen, Today marks the beginning of a more expressive and chaotic me and if you try and if you continue to treat me in the same manner as you have so far then I feel sorry for you but you have been warned
“I’m attracted to the extreme light and the extreme dark. I’m interested in the human condition and what makes people tick. I’m interested in the things people try to hide.”—Johnny Depp (via miles-halter)