Tonight I learnt from a friend of mine that my favourite teacher who I respect and adore with every fibre of my being was talking about me today.
He told the class that I was “unique, very interesting and incredibly disassociated with life”.
Now the first two things are wonderful and I love to think that people see me that way but the last part is a little bit unsettling.
Usually that might have upset me maybe a tad but hey it’s so fucking true there is barely anything in this world that I connect to or see as real I mean besides for a couple of people nothing else is really real which leads me on to the next part which is where I tell you my psychologist believes I have dissociative identity disorder to such an extreme that he thinks it might have caused seperate personalities along with depression and paranoia (I am just one big vat of crazy apparently).
But I have gotten off topic the simple fact is that if nothing is real then there is no purpose and if there is no purpose then why continue? That’s the question that keeps me up at night and plagues my mind during the day.
Heh that got gloomy fast didn’t it? Well to end on a high note I know you will never see this but it must be said anyway Mr Whisken you are by far the best teacher I have ever had and you are one of the few people that I truly respect and admire.